If i come over, it means nothing
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
did i just pee glitter
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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