If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
This girl is more easily done than said...
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
