she peed on how many people?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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