Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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