We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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