Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
