Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
