I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
