Kiss
Puke
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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