he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
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