therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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