Why are handjobs necessary in class?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
