her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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