Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
