Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
