You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize