Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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