so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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