If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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