I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
