Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
