I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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