conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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