You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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