just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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