I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Randomize
