Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
