wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
organizing the empties. That sober.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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