I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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