I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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