So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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