But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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