I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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