my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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