garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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