as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
