Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
