he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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