i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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