He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize