i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I miss vodka workout Fridays
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
