I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
He told me they were just razor bumps!
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
