I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
