Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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