Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Randomize
