She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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