butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
