did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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