But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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