One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
