Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
