Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
