they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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