My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
