Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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