margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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