so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize