so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i think i have two assholes
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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