You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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