some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize