So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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